Reflections from September

And a quarter life crisis

This post is a kind of reflect on the month that has past. The moments that had unveiled, the people that have dually impacted me, the ways that I have changed (with the sessions ofcourse), and why I feel like I've been experiencing a quarterly life crises.

September honeslty felt stressful, exhausting, and interminable. Schools begin on September, classes replace the comforts of your bed and tantrums of your mum. But the change is abrupt, cyclic, and unwelcoming. Since the start of the month till the end of it, I have been feeling as though i am slaving, serving, giving— my precious and precarious time and energy to an education system (perks to whoever read my post, where i confessed more contextually on the issue.) and institution that seems to grasp neither my educational needs nor my mental capacity.

Every morning, 4am, i wake up, brush teeth, shower, pack bag, dress up, no breakfast, and embark on an excruciatingly treacherous public transport journey to school. Arrive at the gates at five past 20-40minutes. Some days i’d attend assembly, someday i would have arrived past it, others I voluntarily don’t. But no escaping or meditating was ever sufficient to prepare me for teachers yelling, berating us, and frivolous student gossiping.

Me resuming this piece on 11th of October feels criminal. But here I am to let you know that even though time feels incredibly difficult; I still got through. So to September fck you. To the lessons I carry on my shoulders like heavy armours, thank you. If I did it so can you, If I can get past cruddy school days, 5 times a week, so can you overcome whatever hurdle is stopping you from maxxing out on your innate potential.

Although I will add that one thing I found myself consistently enjoying throughout Septemeber was the silent walks and morning brisk sprints to and from bus stops. Or gazing the ember sunshine peering over the sky’s blue clouds. It felt enchanting when i walked past massive tree trunks and took in its shapes, shades, and wooded textures in all its differences and beauty. The greenery, right above its trunk that it offered my eyes— felt just like the antidote to my glib and superficially consumed school- social days. Truthfully, its a surreal experience everyday, it feels as though I was born anew everytime. Same purpose different angle to reposition the compass.

Every glimmer of natural lighting and wisp of autumnal wind replenishes my soul in ways— well, indescribable. So, if you made it till the end of this post, thank you. And to my loyal substack subscriber— I wish you a wonderfull month and year, and life.

-Letters to..

Mirale